It's just been me and Mom for a while now. Back when I was born, there were four of us: Mom, Dad, my grandma, and me. But my grandma died when I was a baby, and my dad died several years ago.
Mom...doesn't really know about the Foundation stuff. She thinks I got a special scholarship to an exclusive prep school and that I'm in college now. I still write her letters, but it's hard, you know? Since I can't really tell her much of anything.
...I think she's lonely. She won't date anyone, even though I told her she should. And I can't exactly go home and check on her that much either.
[Dazai falls quiet there, and he leans into the hug. He's been trying to be tough and handle things on his own, but at the end of the day he's still only 19. This stuff is hard for him.]
...I feel like I must be too jaded by now. Just one death to maintain the peace is nothing, compared to what my society was willing to do to maintain peace.
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[He's trying to sound casual, but he's actually touched that Saki cares so much as to consider his life worth saving along with everyone else's.]
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Then- let me know if there are ways I can help. And...
[...Hmmm.]
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[Let's start there with the help.]
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I guess I'd just like to know more about you. [...] With less pretending.
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Is there anything you'd like to start with?
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[And it's completely genuine. There were hints before, but...
She wants to see the real person behind the mask, if he'll let her.]
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It's just been me and Mom for a while now. Back when I was born, there were four of us: Mom, Dad, my grandma, and me. But my grandma died when I was a baby, and my dad died several years ago.
Mom...doesn't really know about the Foundation stuff. She thinks I got a special scholarship to an exclusive prep school and that I'm in college now. I still write her letters, but it's hard, you know? Since I can't really tell her much of anything.
...I think she's lonely. She won't date anyone, even though I told her she should. And I can't exactly go home and check on her that much either.
...
It's going to crush her, if I do die here.
[Wow, this turned dark fast.]
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...So the person you miss is actually...
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[He's dead. No chance of visiting him at all.]
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Can she give him another hug?]
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What's all this about, huh? I'm alright.
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[It's a gentle enough hug for now, but...
After everything he's gone through for them - and because of them - he's more than earned one.]
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My own mother must have worried countless times for me. I kept getting in so much trouble...
[So many times, she came so close to death. Even though it's been years, she still remembers the agony in her mother's voice:
"I don't want to lose another child!"]
I want to make sure you see her again.
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He's holding onto her a bit more tightly now.]
I. I want to see her again.
[A hard thing to admit when you've been so sure of your own death, really.]
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So, she holds him tighter in turn, murmuring:]
I'll do whatever I can. She shouldn't lose her kind and precious son. Not like this.
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[Since he. Genuinely feels bad about everything he's had to do here.]
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You don't think that putting your life on the line for us when you don't even have to is kind?
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[Does the end really justify the means, basically.]
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At what point does the price become too much?]
Like what?
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...I feel like I must be too jaded by now. Just one death to maintain the peace is nothing, compared to what my society was willing to do to maintain peace.
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