We didn't even know... not until we found it out for ourselves. That's what got us into trouble. We kept breaking the rules, even though that's what they raised us for.
[Is there somewhere to sit, or even lean on? She'll take that space to do so now.]
One of my friends didn't have a strong enough power, so she was eliminated. A boy I loved died when his power went out of control, and they couldn't stop it. His last act was to push me away so I wouldn't get caught up in it when his power surged one last time. They erased our memories of them, but I still realized someone was missing.
When I brought it up to my remaining friends, they got scared. One got marked for elimination and ran away, and my girlfriend left with him so he wouldn't be alone. By the age of fifteen, I only had one friend left with me in the villages.
[Her gaze remains on the ground as she talks, almost musing.]
We got in a fight, actually. I only ever saw him one last time, briefly, before I came to this world. We'd just made up.
[But then she raises her head again, looking to Dazai. Weary.]
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of all of this. But I don't know if I can stop it, either.
[She wanted to try. But her efforts alone just weren't enough.]
[God, that story sounds so familiar. So, so familiar. Enough so that his face crumbles into a morose look as he listens to her speak. And then, when she's done, he'll share a little snippet of himself too.]
I got my best friends involved in it. I was the one contacted by 'that person', and I told my friends about his offer. About how he said we could be heroes.
One of my friends avoided capture at the end. I dunno where she went, but I'm guessing it's far, far away. One of her powers was to move really fast, so I guess it's no surprise that she got away. But I haven't seen her since that day.
Another friend survived, but she got really messed up by it all. She's the one in the Foundation with me. She keeps calm, but I can see the cracks when she thinks nobody's looking.
The last one...I don't know what happened to him, but I think he died. I lost touch with him when the fires started and I never heard from him again. I always hoped that maybe he made it, his powers made him fireproof, but...
There were others involved too, and a lot of the kids I knew died, but those three...it's my fault they got involved. I wanted to stop it all- I still do- but I just...don't know how.
[He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.]
I dunno, maybe I'm doing all of this to make it up to them? Like, I failed them, but if I can succeed here then I'm not as much of an asshole or something.
[What an awful thing to have in common, honestly.]
You can't tell me their names?
For me... Reiko Amano died when she was twelve. Her cantus just wasn't strong enough. Shun Aonuma was the boy I loved since childhood. He was a genius... the adults mourned that he'd died, because they expected him to be an amazing leader. Maria Akizuki was my girlfriend, and my best friend growing up. Mamoru Itou... he didn't grow up with us, but he was really attached to Maria all the time. When even a coward like him was scared enough to try to tough it out in the forests alone, Maria couldn't help but go with him to keep him safe.
[Mamoru Itou, the same name that's on her dislikes. Her voice is soft as she talks about her friends, but it gets a smidge judgmental when she talks about him.]
...Growing up after all of them left, All I could think of was how much I missed them. Or... how much I wanted to remember him, in Shun's case. But besides that, even though I stayed away from the Board of Education, I just took my place in the same society that kept killing us.
[She had her reasons, of course she did, but... Thinking back to her fantasies of being brought in as the new head of the Ethics Committee simply for being there, it's almost embarrassing. She was just interested in power, despite doing nothing to earn the position. If nothing else, the Foundation taught her of the hard choices that needed to be made when it came to other peoples' lives.]
I'm not really that great of a person, myself. In the end, I'm just a selfish person who wants to keep the people I hold closest alive. That way I don't have to suffer through losing anyone again.
[She's rambling by now, but it's been a long week, and as hard as she'd tried, she'd lost a little brother anyway. Maybe she's cursed when it comes to siblings--
[There is a long pause there too. Given how much Saki is opening up, maybe it's safe for him to open up about his own insecurities too. But...is it really? Could the information be used against him later?
Dazai wouldn't be open like that, but this young man pretending to be Dazai...he just wants to be accepted. It's lonely, secluding himself like this.]
It's...not safe to name them anywhere. One of them is still alive for certain, and I don't want her to be collateral damage if this all comes falling down. If we make it out of here, I'll tell you all of their names.
...
You know, it's a good thing I'm just as stuck here as the rest of you. I might lose my nerve if I had an easy way out.
The second part gets some wry amusement from her, however.]
People back home used to say I was brave, but honestly? The only reason I survived all the things I did was because I had to. Satoru and I- oh, Satoru Asahina. He's the only one left in the villages with me. Anyway, Satoru and I ended up involved in a queerat war by accident when we were twelve. I can't even count the number of times we nearly died.
I was scared the whole time. I thought the queerats would kill me, or we'd be crushed underground... even though it was only a few days, I was terrified. But I couldn't just stop, either.
Somehow, we kept on the move and made it out alive. Sometimes... that's all you can do.
[It's a solid message, honestly. Dazai isn't exactly a brave hero, he's just a scared kid trying to do what he can to make the world a little better. Someone like him does need encouragement from time to time.]
...yeah. I think I can do that. I mean, I don't have much of a choice. None of us do. But between 'keep going' and 'give up and die', I think I'll choose the first one.
[He doesn't have much, but at least he has the determination to keep going.]
[He absolutely lets her hug him, and he even hugs her back. He's not from bonobo-society, but he grew up with parents who hugged him a lot, and he misses that kind of contact.]
[There is a long pause, and his voice is muffled by Saki's shoulder but should still be audible.]
I don't like not touching people. Hugs, hi-5s, whatever.
[It's a quiet admission, but it might explain some of the difficulties he has been going through. He's one to casually touch friends all the time, and he misses doing that.]
[It's okay, a hug is a hug regardless of the reason. So Dazai will stay like that for a little while longer yet, relishing the feeling as a reminder that they're still alive here.]
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You know, he said something like that to me once. "You're dangerous. You could destroy this world so many times over, and you don't even realize it."
That's why I was brought to the Foundation. To make me less-dangerous. But that didn't make it any less scary.
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We didn't even know... not until we found it out for ourselves. That's what got us into trouble. We kept breaking the rules, even though that's what they raised us for.
[Is there somewhere to sit, or even lean on? She'll take that space to do so now.]
One of my friends didn't have a strong enough power, so she was eliminated. A boy I loved died when his power went out of control, and they couldn't stop it. His last act was to push me away so I wouldn't get caught up in it when his power surged one last time. They erased our memories of them, but I still realized someone was missing.
When I brought it up to my remaining friends, they got scared. One got marked for elimination and ran away, and my girlfriend left with him so he wouldn't be alone. By the age of fifteen, I only had one friend left with me in the villages.
[Her gaze remains on the ground as she talks, almost musing.]
We got in a fight, actually. I only ever saw him one last time, briefly, before I came to this world. We'd just made up.
[But then she raises her head again, looking to Dazai. Weary.]
I'm tired of it. I'm tired of all of this. But I don't know if I can stop it, either.
[She wanted to try. But her efforts alone just weren't enough.]
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[God, that story sounds so familiar. So, so familiar. Enough so that his face crumbles into a morose look as he listens to her speak. And then, when she's done, he'll share a little snippet of himself too.]
I got my best friends involved in it. I was the one contacted by 'that person', and I told my friends about his offer. About how he said we could be heroes.
One of my friends avoided capture at the end. I dunno where she went, but I'm guessing it's far, far away. One of her powers was to move really fast, so I guess it's no surprise that she got away. But I haven't seen her since that day.
Another friend survived, but she got really messed up by it all. She's the one in the Foundation with me. She keeps calm, but I can see the cracks when she thinks nobody's looking.
The last one...I don't know what happened to him, but I think he died. I lost touch with him when the fires started and I never heard from him again. I always hoped that maybe he made it, his powers made him fireproof, but...
There were others involved too, and a lot of the kids I knew died, but those three...it's my fault they got involved. I wanted to stop it all- I still do- but I just...don't know how.
[He sighs and runs a hand through his hair.]
I dunno, maybe I'm doing all of this to make it up to them? Like, I failed them, but if I can succeed here then I'm not as much of an asshole or something.
no subject
You can't tell me their names?
For me... Reiko Amano died when she was twelve. Her cantus just wasn't strong enough. Shun Aonuma was the boy I loved since childhood. He was a genius... the adults mourned that he'd died, because they expected him to be an amazing leader. Maria Akizuki was my girlfriend, and my best friend growing up. Mamoru Itou... he didn't grow up with us, but he was really attached to Maria all the time. When even a coward like him was scared enough to try to tough it out in the forests alone, Maria couldn't help but go with him to keep him safe.
[Mamoru Itou, the same name that's on her dislikes. Her voice is soft as she talks about her friends, but it gets a smidge judgmental when she talks about him.]
...Growing up after all of them left, All I could think of was how much I missed them. Or... how much I wanted to remember him, in Shun's case. But besides that, even though I stayed away from the Board of Education, I just took my place in the same society that kept killing us.
[She had her reasons, of course she did, but... Thinking back to her fantasies of being brought in as the new head of the Ethics Committee simply for being there, it's almost embarrassing. She was just interested in power, despite doing nothing to earn the position. If nothing else, the Foundation taught her of the hard choices that needed to be made when it came to other peoples' lives.]
I'm not really that great of a person, myself. In the end, I'm just a selfish person who wants to keep the people I hold closest alive. That way I don't have to suffer through losing anyone again.
[She's rambling by now, but it's been a long week, and as hard as she'd tried, she'd lost a little brother anyway. Maybe she's cursed when it comes to siblings--
They always seem to die.]
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[There is a long pause there too. Given how much Saki is opening up, maybe it's safe for him to open up about his own insecurities too. But...is it really? Could the information be used against him later?
Dazai wouldn't be open like that, but this young man pretending to be Dazai...he just wants to be accepted. It's lonely, secluding himself like this.]
It's...not safe to name them anywhere. One of them is still alive for certain, and I don't want her to be collateral damage if this all comes falling down. If we make it out of here, I'll tell you all of their names.
...
You know, it's a good thing I'm just as stuck here as the rest of you. I might lose my nerve if I had an easy way out.
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Okay. I'll hold you to it.
[Because they will get him out. They have to.
The second part gets some wry amusement from her, however.]
People back home used to say I was brave, but honestly? The only reason I survived all the things I did was because I had to. Satoru and I- oh, Satoru Asahina. He's the only one left in the villages with me. Anyway, Satoru and I ended up involved in a queerat war by accident when we were twelve. I can't even count the number of times we nearly died.
I was scared the whole time. I thought the queerats would kill me, or we'd be crushed underground... even though it was only a few days, I was terrified. But I couldn't just stop, either.
Somehow, we kept on the move and made it out alive. Sometimes... that's all you can do.
Keep going.
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[It's a solid message, honestly. Dazai isn't exactly a brave hero, he's just a scared kid trying to do what he can to make the world a little better. Someone like him does need encouragement from time to time.]
...yeah. I think I can do that. I mean, I don't have much of a choice. None of us do. But between 'keep going' and 'give up and die', I think I'll choose the first one.
[He doesn't have much, but at least he has the determination to keep going.]
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Good. None of us "contestants" want to give up, so you don't give up either.
[But then her expression turns serious.]
Even if it means you have to act cruel. If you have to be "mean" to me on the cameras, don't hold back.
I'm not a very good liar, but I'll do my best.
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She'll pull him into a hug, if he'll let her.]
You won't. I know you won't.
[Her voice is soothing - an attempt to comfort them both.]
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...Do you want me to stay with you for a while? While the cameras are still...
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[There is a long pause, and his voice is muffled by Saki's shoulder but should still be audible.]
I don't like not touching people. Hugs, hi-5s, whatever.
[It's a quiet admission, but it might explain some of the difficulties he has been going through. He's one to casually touch friends all the time, and he misses doing that.]
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What a coincidence. It's the same for me.
[If for wildly different reasons, but she's been missing it sorely, too.]
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