Because that's what I want to be. I'm not a good person, Saki-san. I've killed so, so many people. I'm a murderer, an extortionist, a criminal. And I don't feel the slightest bit guilty about any of it.
I'm someone who does bad things and doesn't care about the people I hurt in the process. The only thing that matters are the people I am close to, and I don't have the energy to even try to care beyond that. So, I'm a despicable person, one hated by righteousness.
But it's fine, the world needs people like me. If this was the role I was born to fill, then fill it I shall.
The world already has enough terrible people. Coming to this time- no. Even in my own time, I know that.
[The adults' hands were covered in blood, even if they felt they were justified in their decisions.]
So why do you have to fill that role? You said you could try to be a better person. What's stopping you from filling that role instead? Did somebody say you can't?
If you ask me, this world needs many more good people than it does bad. If it's so easy for you either way, why not put yourself on the side that needs more help right now?
And he looks extremely guilty for a moment there. Like he knows he's wrong and that Saki is right, and he knows he should be doing something different than what he is.
But that he can't, for whatever reason that may be. And that conflict between 'what I should do' and 'what I have to do' is present on his face right now.]
Still, she stands her ground, stance a little firmer, ready to move if she needs to. This is not the first time she's stared death down, and she knows it won't be the last.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[She's had an entire year in the Foundation, and she can't help but be morbidly curious how something on his face could be that terrible.
-Well, that and she has a sneaking suspicion there's about a 50/50 chance he's lying at any given time. That's a definite confidence booster.]
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[He might be joking, given the tone he's using.]
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[She doesn't know all this... media.]
It can't be that bad.
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I've already been here for a year. Besides, it's not like everything is actually peaceful where I'm from, either.
[Watching a bunch of queerats get slaughtered en masse sure is a thing.]
I think I can take it.
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[He says it off-handedly, but there is definitely a kernel of truth to it.]
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If you don't want to do something, just say it plainly! If you keep being evasive, it's your own fault when people ask more questions.
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[His tone makes it clear he's saying this to be a petulant child.]
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I'm blaming for you for being evasive and trying to blame others for not understanding when you're the one making yourself impossible to understand.
You keep making your own problems.
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[That's said as if it's the most normal thing ever.]
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Why?
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I'm someone who does bad things and doesn't care about the people I hurt in the process. The only thing that matters are the people I am close to, and I don't have the energy to even try to care beyond that. So, I'm a despicable person, one hated by righteousness.
But it's fine, the world needs people like me. If this was the role I was born to fill, then fill it I shall.
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The world already has enough terrible people. Coming to this time- no. Even in my own time, I know that.
[The adults' hands were covered in blood, even if they felt they were justified in their decisions.]
So why do you have to fill that role? You said you could try to be a better person. What's stopping you from filling that role instead? Did somebody say you can't?
If you ask me, this world needs many more good people than it does bad. If it's so easy for you either way, why not put yourself on the side that needs more help right now?
1/idk give me a moment
(the song is appropriate here too.)]
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And he looks extremely guilty for a moment there. Like he knows he's wrong and that Saki is right, and he knows he should be doing something different than what he is.
But that he can't, for whatever reason that may be. And that conflict between 'what I should do' and 'what I have to do' is present on his face right now.]
done
[It's said quietly, as Dazai looks away from her. She'll get one chance to leave before bad shit starts happening.]
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Still, she stands her ground, stance a little firmer, ready to move if she needs to. This is not the first time she's stared death down, and she knows it won't be the last.]
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You know it's true, don't you?
You can leave the plate outside the door.
[And off she goes.]